Unimportant whatever you do. Unimportant who I am. Whatever is done. Whatever will be.
But never. Never ever you try again to tell me to be polite. how to behave with others. how to do. never again tell me to be strong. when you can\'t be. when you let yourself go.
and don\'t you go shouting at others for what you done wrong. for what you yourself have caused. I know I am like you. and when unsatisfied with myself. I shout and grrrr at others. but it\'s not right. they can\'t do you better. they cannot change what you have done. only you can. only you....
and never again I\'ll listen when you talk of my manners. as by today I know. I\'m high above you. I wouldn\'t ever........or would I?
you have done what I wouldn\'t have thought possible. you have shown me what I hadn\'t expected in your might. you have come. and told me you were sorry.
have you ever done before. not for me.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?
you took me there. in showing me. you\'re human. still. and always. can I believe you. can find myself in that picture. we draw.
I want to believe it. I want always to remember I saw your humanity. the face behind the mask. you wear. that I saw you humble. for what you did. and so I will remember. and I will know.
but still it hurts. like a slap in the face. you haven\'t seen the burning rage. storming inside of me. you haven\'t seen the tears stream down my face like rivers in the summer floods. you will not know.
but I will.
and that is important.
I will know. and I will remember.
~trying to leave the rage behind. trying to withstand the urging need to destroy whatever comes my way~
~yet still not able to work at whatever would be important~
~still on blank nerves~
~don\'t try me~